fitness and exercise

Why I keep forgetting that exercise feels amazing. This could just as easily live in my journal, but in my favorite version of reality a lot of things get added in the comments, and this lives as a resource for everyone and for me the next time I forget that exercise feels amazing.

The culture I was aware of as a kid: 

• Athletes go to gyms. The only other people that go to gyms are vain people, and they only go because they care about having an impressive appearance.
• Exercise is hard and painful. If it's not kicking you're ass, you're lazy.
• I loved playing soccer all through childhood. When I started Junior High I tried out for the soccer team. I was the best player at tryouts- scored the most goals, saved the most goals, had the most steals. But I didn't make the team because I wasn't competitive enough. On the last day of tryouts I gave goals to girls who seemed like their self-esteem was getting battered by their failure to get a goal.

My initial influences in adulthood:

• In undergrad I was required to take dance class all 4 years. The dance teacher's job was to prepare us for Broadway dance auditions, which are usually "cattle calls" of hundreds of people auditioning for one spot. So you had to be the best, the sharpest, the fastest to learn the choreography, the fastest to get into position. These classes were the first time in my life I learned what "getting into shape" meant. He spent the entire first semester of freshman year teaching us what the names of our muscles were by spending an entire 90-minute session going ham on that muscle. Freshmen voice majors at Carnegie Mellon limped around campus and yelped trying to pick up their backpacks. I wasn't taught about warm ups, cool downs, or how to navigate muscle soreness. I was expected to be capable of at least two versions of the splits by the end of my first semester of college, so I spent hours doing homework in very uncomfortable body positions.
• In my thirties I worked with personal trainers three times. I didn't know this at the time, but I've since learned from a friend who is a health coach that most people come to a personal training session and give about 40% effort, so most trainers get in the habit of pushing and pushing them to harder things in the hopes the client gets to 75 or 80%. My trainers and I didn't know that because of my dance training I was showing up giving 110%. So they pushed me the way they pushed all of their clients. And I did everything in my power to be obedient to what they were telling me to do. It took me 8 years to realize that what I had been calling "pushing my edge" had actually been the cusp of a panic attack because my heart rate was way too high and I was pushing strength training to the point of risking injury.

New updates to my experiences and beliefs about exercise:

• Thanks largely to my health coach friend, a wise ex-boyfriend, and resources from Dr. Stacey Sims, I finally was able to believe them that not only doesn't exercise have to be painful, the cortisol, muscle soreness, etc. caused from pushing create more problems than the workouts solve. And when exercise sucks it's wildly de-motivating and unsustainable.
• I've learned through countless failed attempts and Dr. Sims that any workout plan that doesn't take my menstrual cycle into account is doomed from the start. I learned that in the days before my bleed my body takes all of the tissue-rebuilding ingredients away from things like muscle repair and diverts it all to building the uterine lining. So strength training during this time results in a week of relentless pain and soreness. I've learned that during my follicular phase I'm a literal superhero. Live it up while I can, but for god's sake do not set that as my new standard to build on top of because the cycle is going to loop back again. I've learned that women have about 30% the glycogen stores in their muscles as men, so keto and fasted workouts are a distaster. I literally need to have eaten carbs before workouts to have any legitamite fuel to work with.
• I've had fits and starts of working out, but then I'd start listening to some damn exercise podcast, fall into my old mindset of "pushing for gains," and the habit would collapse.

New intentional mindsets:

I'm a week into returning to exercise, and so far everything about it is wildly different than before. I consistently feel the tug back toward my old mindsets, but I'm practicing reminding myself of these things over and over and over.

• Do classes, but relinquish obedience. The classes are great for me because a very knowledgable person has crafted something great without my having to expend any mental energy at all. But the key is that I stay connected with my body and be always willing to disobey the instructor in favor of what my body needs.
• Start slow and easy. What I want most if for exercise to become a favorite part of my lifestyle for the rest of my life. I've been mostly going to "Restorative" classes that are passive yoga stretches in a structure designed to regulate the nervous system. Nothing's hard, nothing hurts, and I leave feeling wonderful. This is SO effective at making me look forward to getting in the car and driving to the gym the next day.
• Pride can be a great energy source. It does seem to be part of my true nature that I would like other people in the class to be impressed with me. I want to be impressed with me. I'm intentionally relinquishing the lifelong energy source of "I want to get thin and hot" and replacing it with "I wanna leave here feeling impressed with myself."
• Two mindsets I picked up from Arun, "I like being a regular" and "third place," had me choose Austin Bouldering Project as my gym. It's just fucking cool, and very attractive people are everywhere. I like the thought of becoming a regular there. A lot. People knowing my name, new friendships, maybe even finding a romantic partner who likes going to the same gym together. And third place is based on home being the first place and work being the second place. I love the midset of choosing ABP as my third place. I bring my laptop and co-work upstairs after working out. I chill in the sauna.

These are all such different mindset orientations than I've ever had before, and I hope writing this helps me remember that when I do it wisely from the right mindsets, exercise and going to the gym feels friggin amazing.

WeightWatchers. I feel sad about this:

The body positivity movement, + ozempic (and other GLP-1 weight loss drugs) + the pandemic (WeightWatchers apparently was built on in-person support groups) meant that WeightWatchers went from $1.5 billion in revenue in 2018 to $770 million for this year.

As a result, they’re trying to pivot to being a telehealth company, which (primarily?) sells the weight-loss drugs.

On their walls it used to say it’s choice, not chance. and now CEO Sistani’s quoted saying that’s wrong. Also from Sistani We live in this clickbait world now where everything needs to try to come across in 15 to 30 seconds, which is whjy our marketing is so difficult.

I don’t have any personal connection to WeightWatchers, but one thing I’m projecting on them is that they used to stand for empowerment through choice, diligence, restraint, and doing the difficult work of changing long-standing habits. And now it seems like they don’t stand for anything. It looks like they’re just at the whim of market forces and trying to fit in and still make money. Why do I care? I don’t know—but I feel sad, I think that they’re augmenting and accelerating a change which seems to not address deeper features; which seems to perpetuate unconsciousness and the grey. Aspects of the body positivity movement seem right to me: our beauty standards were ridiculous. Aspects felt like it went to far: there are physical and mental health issues that can be overlooked by focusing only on self-acceptance. I think it was an attempt to move towards more consciousness, and I respect and appreciate that.

I like to play the game if it were me, what would I do? not because I think I could actually do it—I know nothing about the weight-loss market, the customers, the business model, etc!—but because I hate to criticize something without thinking up some alternative, even if it’s loco. But in this case my solution is predictable: I’d try to pivot WeightWatchers into a full suite integrally-informed consciousness raising program. Level Up for weight-watchers—Keep what’s been working in terms of lower right systems with counting points, include upper right drugs as necessary (but don’t try to promote them), enhancing the Lower Left cultural support with facilitators helping the groups in person and online look for deeper causes, add 1-1 and group coaching to the clinic offering in lieu of only UR drugs, build custom technology to support groups supporting each other throughout the day on mobile, build out curriculum from the world’s best and most famous therapists and psychologists about what’s underneath weight gain and loss cycles, and acquire / partner with up-and-coming health-ish supplement companies like LMNT, Mudwater, HelloFresh so the WeightWatchers program feels way cooler and you benefit from each other’s marketing.

idk, just thought this might generate some interesting thoughts here.

Which diet is best? Which diet do you believe is the best for overall human health?

I’ve done a million and one ways of eating, and I’ve currently landed on prioritizing protein, fiber, and colors (diverse veggies).

I’m interested to hear more from others on your dietary choices, recommendations, opinions, or research that you believe speaks to the best diets.

Also, there are many use cases- clarify what you’re aiming for. Building muscle, losing weight, living a long time, reducing inflammation, having a good time, etc.

Working out & Cortisol, Which exercise method is best? Many conflicting perspectives (often research-backed) exist on the best ways to keep your body healthy.

Do HIIT for cardiovascular health, it’s the best thing for your heart

Do LISS, it’s best for longevity

Don’t do HIIT if you’re stressed out and already have elevated cortisol, as it will elevate your cortisol more, especially if you’re a woman

Focus on slow flowing movements because it’s what our bodies are meant for

Women should lift heavy, it’s the best way to build muscle and protect bone density

Women should do exercise like pilates to build long, lean bodies and keep exercise core focused

These are some of the things I’ve heard across various platforms…Huberman, Attia, My traditional Chinese Medicine dr, and random coaches that I’ve worked with.

What are your beliefs about staying active? Whose ideas do you subscribe to the most? What’s your workout routine?